Saturday, June 25, 2011

My New Garden

For the first time in my adult life, I planted a garden last week.

It was arduous.

56 feet long, 2 feet deep, you do the math.

Nothing but cracked, dry ground. I had to fight for every inch. I turned it all over by hand, de-weeded, made a beautiful border, mixed top soil, planted, watered, and then collapsed into an exhausted heep. Two days of work. My quads will never be the same.

Now normally I have a hate-on for all things creepy crawly but for some reason, while gardening, my girly squeals are somewhat manageable. There were worms galore, spiders, and even a ladybug I managed to not freak out over.

I love my garden.

And just the other day, the first few teeny tiny little buds began to break ground. Then I allowed myself to squeal like a girl. In delight, of course.

Gardens and spring go hand in hand, don't they?

Renewal, rebirth.

I love the symbolism in this.

Because at its core is the idea that no matter what, anything can be made new.

No matter how broken, no matter how wretched, no matter how hopeless... everything can be made new, can be made better, can be made beautiful again.

It has been over 15 months since my life imploded. It feels like 15 years.

Hours spent trapped in loneliness, isolation, and heartache. Sorrow covers you and swallows you up, leaving no room for anything else.

But time elapsed.

Slowly. Very, very slowly.

I had to put in so much work. Fight for every inch.

I was lucky enough to have some wonderful people in my life to pluck me out of my grief and set me shakily back on the ground.

I even had one close friendship that sparked into a wonderful new relationship, my future husband.

My life is changing, being made over.

New experiences, new places, new people.

I feel like a different person now.


And it feels really good.


  1. This post makes me feel real good. Good for you. Amazing how the earth and nature can provide so many amazing analgies for our lives. Good on you, Emily, keep renewing. You never know who you can become.

  2. Wow Emily! I thought about you yesterday, out of the blue, and today found you through Shani's blog. Quite the journey you have had, and are continuing on. I applaud your strength and positiveness. I know it had to be extremely hard, but you, like your garden, will continue to grow and blossom. I wish you a lifetime of peace and happiness.