Friday, September 10, 2010

Sweet, Sweet Relief

It's over. It's finally over.

The other driver pled guilty to the careless driving charge yesterday, saving us the torture of going through a trial.

I was called to court in the afternoon to read my Victim Impact Statement. So much for nerves of steal. More like nerves of Jello. Pretty much thought I was going to vomit. Or worse.

But I did it. Did I cry through the whole thing? You bet. But for once, I managed to cry and talk at the same time (usually an impossibility for me) and strategically wipe my nose on occaision so as not to have snot running down my face. Win and win.

I think everybody was pretty moved in the courtroom, including the judge and the prosecutor. I know in the end it doesn't really affect the other driver's sentencing, but that's ok. I just wanted to have my say, to have the world acknowledge how important Craig is and that it really is a big deal that he died. For the first time since his accident I felt like I got my say and like the world listened. And it felt damn good.

The judge did seem to seriously consider jail time and even adjourned at one point to re-evaluate. In the end he decided not to for a number of reasons I won't get into. In the end, it doesn't matter to me. This man going to jail does not bring Craig back and has absolutely zero impact on my life. If the roles were reversed, and it was Craig who had killed someone, Craig who was facing potential jail time, I would be freaking out. No way would I ever want my husband to suffer like that or to be taken from me. So how would it help anything to take someone else's husband away and make him suffer just because mine is gone?

I did speak with the man (very briefly) afterwards and he begged for forgiveness, apologizing profusely. This is not some jerk who doesn't care and isn't remorseful. He is just another hardworking, average guy who really screwed up. Between getting my say, seeing everyone's reaction, and looking at this man I realized I really do forgive him. It was like all the anger and hatred I had for him just evaporated.

And I have never felt so happy in all my life.

I am so relieved it's finally over and I can move forward.

Nobody else has to suffer, he acknowledged his guilt, nothing more is needed.

So thank you to everyone for the prayers and support. I don't think things could have turned out any better.


  1. Emily, I'm so glad for you. Well done.

  2. Oh Emily!! I am so happy for you and proud of you! The forgiveness there was a hard one to give that man, I can see God has been working on you and through you!
    I love you!

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  4. Wow, Emily. What an ordeal to have to go through on top of everything else. I am so glad you were able to find forgiveness in your heart. That is the greatest gift you can give someone. Your perspective on the issue at hand is a tremendous example of how you have chosen to let God into your life and help you.
    I'm glad you are at peace with the way it went. You soften my heart.

    (ps - the only reason the previous post was deleted was because I had a typo...)

  5. *HUGS* Oh, Emily, I'm so glad!

    Love, Ruthie :)

  6. Emily, it has been amazing, reading your blog and (somewhat) being able to see how're you're making it through this amazingly difficult and seemingly never-ending journey! I am so glad that the court is finally done and it warmed my heart to hear that you were able to speak with the other driver and actually forgive him. By that fact alone, I believe that a seed may have been planted in that man's heart and that he might one day be able to recognize that there is a God and that the reason you were able to forgive him was because of your relationship with Him. I pray that this man and his entire family might come to know the Lord through this tragedy and through his interaction with you. I am so glad and relieved that you are truly happy again and from the sounds of things, beginning to have a bit of peace creep back into your life! I love you lots and am still praying for you!