Monday, June 14, 2010

When I Said...

Oh my darling.

When I said I didn't need you, I lied.

When I said 'til death parts us, I really meant, may death never part us.

When I said I had to work late, I really meant, I wish I was home with you.

When I said I always loved you more, I really just wanted to hear it was the other way around.

When I said I could live without you, I meant exist, not live.

When I said I'd love you forever, I had no idea forever would take you somewhere I couldn't reach you.

When I said I accepted you just as you are, I did. I just loved you too much to leave you that way.

When I said I would take a bullet for you, I really meant not only would I die for you, I would suffer for you for all time too.

When I said I was sorry, I really meant, I will never stop being sorry for even the smallest of hurts, including the ones you have long forgotten.

When I said I would be with you forever, I meant for all time, in a place deep within me, where I will keep you alive, protected, and safe.

When I begged you to stop nagging me, I did not know the sound of your voice would become the most painful and agonizing loss. Now I can only hear your whispers from afar, too quiet for even me to discern.

When I said I would be your friend forever, I had no idea that forever was only a matter of time. Now I am friends with a ghost and he does not laugh at my jokes, cannot soothe my hurts, and can never make me smile again.

When I said I wished it was me, I really meant I wish it was us, so we would never have to be apart.

There is no comfort without you, no love without you, no happiness alone.

Come back to me, my sweet, come back to me.

You said you would.

1 comment:

  1. I wish I could say something that would make you feel better, but I can't. I do know that you have a way of saying all the things that I am thinking but can't even begin to put into words. Thank you for your honesty and courage.